if i ever bought my kid a fucking mercedes (be damn sure i wouldn’t) and she got pissed off because it was the wrong type or something she’d be out on the street and i’d be rubbing my shit on the hood
tuukka swearing when is phone rings
THANK YOU FOR VIDEO. JESUS CHRIST. HES SO FUCKING MAD. HES SO. MAD. HES SERIOUSLY GONNA GO OFF AT WHOEVER CALLED HIM LATER. THIS IS SO HOT
i used to do tmi tuesdays in the summer but my followers got kinda mad because i never took them seriously
“i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography
“I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel.
- Elay Neal Moses (via coachela)
in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke